There was no blood. It wasn’t messy.
I can honestly say, I feel no envy.
No bitterness. No self-pity.
Despite how I moan, it was curiously easy
To hear that word, it didn’t break me,
Didn’t crush me though it should have. Maybe
It’s the state you're in. Who in their right mind
Would envy you? The pain I feel this time
Is nothing on what you face every day.
For once in my life, I can truly say
With no sarcasm, Honey it’s ok.
Of course you forgot. And in this masquerade
It was just a favour. From a normal friend.
Do you know that I know? That I too must pretend.
Or perhaps I don’t feel as much pain
As I should is because yet again
I’ve deluded myself, thinking I’ve a chance still
And despite it all I know that I will
Carry on believing in these mixed messages
And finding hope in every word to me he says
Even though I know I mustn’t hope too much.
I don’t feel the pain yet. Because I haven’t given up.