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My Secret Shame by ~embraceimperfections:iconembraceimperfections:



My secret shame

Unhealable wound of guilt and pride
My deepest secret, my darker side
My strongest regret, my most terrible sin
You can lie without but not within.

Bittersweet apple
The angel did fall
The one mistake that twisted it all
Destroyed what I’ll never have again
My fall from grace, my secret shame.

The line is crossed; there is no turning back.
Rotten and sickening, one of seven so black.
Filled with disgust at this mark on my soul.
I’ve transgressed; I’m scarred, never again whole.

Bittersweet apple
The angel did fall
The one mistake that infected it all
Destroyed what I’ll never have again
My fall from grace, my secret shame.

You’re always there, I can’t truly forget.
Though it’s buried deep, where it can’t be found
Years have passed but it won’t go away
However hard I push it down.

It still haunts me, can’t breathe, can’t sleep.
I can never wash my hands clean.

But the truth is guilt is mixed with pride
I can’t forgive you because the fault is mine.

Bittersweet apple
The angel did fall
The one mistake that changed it all
Destroyed what I’ll never have again
My fall from grace, my secret shame.
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Submitted: December 18, 2007
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Author's Comments

This is the first time I've written anything transgressive and all I have to say is that it's not fun. I don't intend to be writing much more. It makes me feel unclean and horrible.

This may become a song but all I have so far is a drone and a two bar riff on Eminor so yeah...

I feel like I should say more but I think I've done as much "opening up" and "personal stuff" as I can cope with for one day.

I have to add though that I'm not usually like this.

Devious Comments

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~Zapinc:iconZapinc: Dec 18, 2007, 12:23:07 PM
I read this and all i can think of is falling, falling and lashing out to no avail

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Well, Its not going to suck itself, is it?
~ForbiddenFears:iconForbiddenFears: Dec 19, 2007, 4:33:52 AM
'You can lie without but not within.'
A strong line.

Transgressive?

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:rose: Crystal :rose:
:hug: Emma :hug:
:blackrose: Severus Snape :blackrose:
~embraceimperfections:iconembraceimperfections: Dec 20, 2007, 6:31:37 AM
yeah i know. so much fun isn't it?
~thanks for your comment~

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~A nightingale in a golden cage, that's me locked inside reality's maze~ NIGHTWISH ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!
~embraceimperfections:iconembraceimperfections: Dec 20, 2007, 6:40:07 AM
thanks, it has two different meanings both of which are true.

to trangress: over step bounds, exceed; break or violate a law or rule, offend by breaking a law or convention.

transgressive poetry is poetry that pushes the boundaries of what is socially acceptable, often about crime or sin, disturbing thoughts, loveless sex and all of that crap. Basically it is downright nasty!

~thanks for your comment~

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~A nightingale in a golden cage, that's me locked inside reality's maze~ NIGHTWISH ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!
~ForbiddenFears:iconForbiddenFears: Dec 20, 2007, 9:00:07 PM
I dont feel that this is really transgressive then, but I accept pretty much everything. It may appear to different to someone else.

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:rose: Crystal :rose:
:hug: Emma :hug:
:blackrose: Severus Snape :blackrose:
~embraceimperfections:iconembraceimperfections: Dec 21, 2007, 2:11:46 AM
...maybe its not. it just felt transgressive to write and it is about "transgressing" so yeah. I just usually don't write anything nasty so its a new experience XD
~thanks for your comment~

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~A nightingale in a golden cage, that's me locked inside reality's maze~ NIGHTWISH ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!
~ForbiddenFears:iconForbiddenFears: Dec 22, 2007, 6:42:08 AM
haha, what would you describe as nasty though? I'm curious.

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:rose: Crystal :rose:
:hug: Emma :hug:
:blackrose: Severus Snape :blackrose:
~embraceimperfections:iconembraceimperfections: Dec 25, 2007, 9:58:46 AM
i dont know come to think of it... thanks you've made me think! I suppose for me nasty is not anything shocking, "transgressive! (boundary pushing), depressing or horrifying. I suppose what I meant by nasty here was something that was meaningless, pointless, empty sour or rotten. Thats how the subject is feeling and how I felt while writing this. Pointlessness is something I personally find very hard to cope with. Great Tradgedy is fine because that has some meaning in it, but anything without meaning really gets to me.
This has been a very interesting discussion! Thanks!

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~A nightingale in a golden cage, that's me locked inside reality's maze~ NIGHTWISH ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!
~ForbiddenFears:iconForbiddenFears: Dec 25, 2007, 5:42:07 PM
Mmm..if one cannot find a meaning in the words then perhaps look beyond the literal meaning.

:) Anytime.

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:rose: Crystal :rose:
:hug: Emma :hug:
:blackrose: Severus Snape :blackrose: